I have quite an issue.. don't we all? Either people suffer from depression, loneliness, security, battle their faith, some kind of addiction. EVERYONE has something that their working On. I'm working on Trust, well not really. I 've made assumptions due to lack of trust, I have totally ended relationships due to my observation and patterns of an individual. My biggest turn off is an insecure person, who takes their insecurities and covers up with what I call - fake happiness. When All they really need to do, is recognize their insecurities, and try to build up their happiness within themselves by simply using all the tools to make a
healthy lifestyle. Trust is a word - Not an option for me and another person. Of course, you might read this and say " well miya you have to trust someone to an extent ". TRUE! but If I provided my stories of unloyalty, it will only bring tears as I write and share my blog with you beautiful people. My father told me years ago. Trust No One. I'm sure he meant just be careful daughter, be wise with decisions and people. Don't give your All to one person and trust they will always be there. Trust only in God. I shall continue to do this, I don't believe it will block any blessings simply because I'm quite a friendly person. I'm just smarter than One Might Perceive. .But I'm grateful for those that I can say I trust.. to an extent. ...
I truly think I cried my last Cry.. ummm last week sometime ! No No seriously, I'm only human. I'm only a woman. My focus is driven, the only person who honestly can relate to my dreams, inspirations, goals is Teneale. When we speak its random conversations, our deepest desires, eye to eye, vision to vision. Ill never forget when we met at the bus station in Los Angeles, both great writers, I was a younger writer, teneale more advanced. When I think back about where I am now artistically , I'm more driven, but maybe because I'm getting older, not sure what it is. Spontaneously I'm ready to venture out, I'm honestly ready to move out of Texas. I'm patiently waiting for whatever that is presented to me, that is just for me. The direction I'm taking is strictly by Faith. Faith and a vision. I clearly see it, than ever before. But I'm standing still.Not even knowing what the direction I should take, or when I will take it. Its summer 2011, I have accomplished little within the past two years honestly. Selfishly being so involved with your desires, is a Great thing, when you are focused on your paths, blocking people, dismissing negativity, even allowing yourself to break from certain things, people and situations.
I have been blessed to have many friends from all over. different visions, different lifestyles. The closest people to my heart are my motivators. I seek God for preparation, I also seek guidance by my mother. Every night I've had dreams I remember, raising two growing girls, I have to lead by example. Its not as hard as one might say, Being a mother, is hard but enjoyable.They watch my every move, ask several questions. When I look in the mirror I tend to recognize that growth and happiness is still unfulfilled fully. I have always been a very confident secure woman, being raised by a woman who instilled that in me, I have never question myself, and humbly have a great personality. I now understand that's why people love to be around me. I'm not rich, I'm not materialistic, arrogant, self centered, insecure, lost. I'm just Miya. I pray that God uses me, I'm optimistic on my near future, I do fear on what lies ahead. I believe in myself.
I havent blogged in a while. So let me enlighten you with a new blog . yay! I pray everyone is well,
healthy and focused on your true desires. Im truly inspired these days by music strictly on early 90s. inspired by faith and jada of course, and the fact their getting older, truly motivates me as a person. Im extra excited what this summer/fall 2011 brings for my family and I. I recently found out I will become a new Aunt. weddings, travels, and good opportunites this whole summer. Positive positive and more positivity influences me, also allows me to live a stress free life. how we think, is how we act.
Instead of being negative, and stress or even entertain negative people. I vent about it to close
family members and friends, and let it go. Im not blinded by certain actions of people. Im only deaf
too it. I see you, but dont hear you. "me dont speak no english." I feel all strong individuals should treat anyone that is negative like this. Pray for them, and keep it movin.
This whole month of May, I have been driven, and quite aggresive on preparing for my whole summer. Overwhelmed at times, by whats in front of me. I find I work well under pressure.Ive also been hurt, and in awe still of the people Ive lost this past year.
By the way, Dating sucks. Remember my last blog?? well all my blogs speak on relationships. I already know , but now I really UNDERSTAND i get bored very quickly.Attraction is a big plus for me. Attraction not just physically. conversation, motivation. some Drive. I find many single men, mentality umm somewhat of 21 year old... Im like man I could of stayed with my EX!
I live in Dallas, Texas. ( No Disrespect )Quite rare you find yourself dating someone, who doesnt know someone you know. TURN OFF. All in all, satisfaction in ALL areas has to be met. Did I mention Im NOT picky? Im not " thirsty" defining seeking for attention, insecure, moneyhungry, or low self esteem. Im fit more of the definition of " knowing what she needs." If I was any of these characteristics I could easily be with someone, and unhappy. " I just choose not
to settle for less. Having a boyfriend would be wonderful, trust me Im not rushing for that. ME ME AND ME. ALL ABOUT ME.me equal faith and jada. me equal growing and manifesting. me equal spiritually enrichment , me equal meaning financially making Great money and Doing More. Me equal being MAGNIFICENT.
It's funny how money change a situation Miscommunication leads to complication My emancipation don't fit your equation..I was on the humble, you - on every station
Some wan' play young "Miya " like she dumb
But remember not a game new under the sun
Everything you did has already been done - Lost one Lauryn hill
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Me Myself and I.. All I have is my soul, my spiritual mind, my heart. My heart should be bleeding out right now, its been stomped on Many times in my life. Since I believe in the Most High, Which is Jesus Christ, I humbly take my hurt, anger and prayerfully stand still. I'm not a bitter woman, more yet a breath of fresh air,
when I wake up, and look in the mirror I see strength, an unpredictable person, a very wise spirit. Clueless I would say , Don't ask me my plans for tomorrow, I don't even know. I see people for who they really are, and keep a smile on my face. I believe that people are what they are ..people. Funny I would say, yes funny characters. I fear no man, and trust no one. meaning , the tongue of a man doesn't surprise me, the greed of a man doesn't shock me, the fake smile of a man doesn't sadden me. many followers I witness and see daily. Forgive them father, for they don't know any better. - Miya
It took me a little while to discover
Wolves in sheep coats who pretend to be lovers
Men who lack conscience will even lie to themselves, to themselves
A friend once said, and I found to be true
That everyday people, they lie to God too
So what makes you think, that they won't lie to you
Forgive them father for they know not what they do
Forgive them, forgive them
Forgive them father for they know not what they do
Forgive them, forgive them -Lauryn Hill
Thanks to social networking sites, that provides people the chance to vent, share their personal thoughts, share inspirational quotes, allow people to view their fantastic lifestyle. Ive observed that many people are just simply- lonely. yes LONELY. feel something or someone is missing, and I only have 440 friends on facebook. So Ive had writers block for a week now until I noticed how people feel so alone. Introduction to my blog, you allow yourself to be lonely there is a whole World out here!!! live it LOVE IT . Ladies, if you re Single, meaning NO man, find a hobby, do something spontaneous and take a flight somewhere you never been. Hang out with girlfriends, have fun. be wise of course doing it. :)
That's what Ive done, and doing. My career is a blur right now, Its like where ever the wind is directing me I follow.. :) I don't think its a bad thing since I'm a unique weirdo anyway ( in a great way ). I'm just focusing on growth, learning everyday , taking one day out of time. In the meantime, in the course of a month ,after being a tad sadden about recent people disappearing out my life, Sleeping longer on the weekends, looking at the wall.. yes go ahead and laugh you've been there too, I'm like shit.. Ive lost a few dear people in my life within the past year, and now people dear too me have disappeared.. like their still Alive, but GONE. I'm still in awe of this. But the past month, Ive had what I call "applications" calling my cell phone like a hot line .. really its pretty annoying, one who knows me very well understands I don't like several people calling my phone, I don't even like many people having my number! So whats going on? Ive realized that being in a relationship is all I know! Ive always been in a relationship, now I'm just having fun, in my thirties planning to settle down and marry AGAIN. is what will happen, I say that with confidence. Prayerfully waiting not seeking, I feel whats for me , will come too me.
Ive learned that many women seek so much in a man, or rather expect so much from a man, at the end of the day their still unhappy and lonely. You also have women they do whatever to prevent a stable relationship, and cant keep a man to save their life, being "tied" down to one man, only feel like their freedom is non existed.and run like a runaway Bride. due to trust issues.
Today society, most women make it easy for men, . My thing is this, don't make it easy. period. , that's why I feel if you're a single woman ,be responsible but have fun, dating who you feel that interest you. Your business is your business, keep it that way. I'm not expressing, sleep whomever gets your your attention, or even give one your time. Just do what men do!!!! but not in a slutty way!!
Men: women have black books too , now its more like contacts on the blackberry, iPhone trust me ! you have to fit her calendar!! a real Queen knows how to invest her time only to those that value her time.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing of my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me. -Maya Angelou
I remember as a young girl, all my Father ever played was Music. Alot of music in our home.
Matter fact, less Television. Only on Thursday evenings. Remember ? Cosby Show First, Different World came on after. yup , VHS was hot back than, we recorded all the Cosby shows. that was so long ago. I was always excited to ride with my Dad in the car, he loved Jazz , hundreds of albums, My mother loved Gospel. The Clark Sisters especially, and Helen Baylor. Kenny G, and Sade music always played in our home. The love for Music started very young, I'm not a singer, But I always felt comfort with a pen and pad in my room, on the weekends most of the day, I would play Music, and when I look back on it, My parents didn't really bother me. I played music all day long , and write. .. exactly what I'm doing now. My father taught me everything about Music, and the appreciation of Music, I remember being so in awe of Earth, Wind and Fire, and they came in town, we were suppose to go, we didn't.I think I cried . funny right? I was mad! Just the passion of an artist and their craft amazes me.When I think of Music , I think of Minnie Rippleton, Stevie Wonder, Lauryn Hill, Sade, Isley Brothers, Robert Kelly aka R Kelly. , The Roots, Jill Scott, Erykah Badu, Nas, Chaka Khan, Michael Jackson, I could go on. Im also a big Coldplay Fan, and Maroon 5. I love it all and respect all types of Music.Brandy and Faith Evans are two artists I respect. My favorite female artist is Lauryn Hill. I had the pleasure of being in awe of her live in 1999.
My siblings and I are all talented in the area of Art. My sister can sing, I write, and my brother produces music , since he was a kid, and has worked with several Artists in Texas. I can go over my brothers house, he always has me listen to his new music material , and we both get in our own zone, , matter of fact quite honestly he is one of my favorite producers, beside R kelly and Kanye West.Super Talented ! love him so.. Thats how "cold" my brother is. My sister never has shut up. and I say that with love, she always sings. and can sing. I see my daughter Jada in her, Jada never shuts up . .At the end of the day Music soothes my spirits, it uplifts my day . I cant go a day without it.Like a Beyonce song " Radio" ooohhh yesss I heard that track and I was thinking to myself " I can relate to this song!!" .Or when I first saw the movie Brown Sugar, true story, I recieved like 3 calls, from people " Miya I saw that movie and thought of you ." I love the Character of Sanna Lathan, have you seen it? Watch it. Cute story about love and hip hop. ..
Dang I wish I was a kid sometimes all over again, Than again, I still get a little excited when Im in the car with my father the times we do get to spend together.. smoothe ride, great music. Cherish the times with people you love. love you Pops :) this one is for you-
I guess.. people .. pretty much would expect a smile from me most of the time..when they see me. great instant communication, always in a "chippery" mood. the moment silence revolves miya, there is a problem. something must be wrong. baffles me, im only human. Created only to cry, be depressed at times, sad at times, just like the next human being.
At this moment Im mute, only expressive through writing. sending calls to voicemail, listening to erykah, lauryn, and kanye. Overwhelmed with recent events, tearful , a little confused, nervous, a tad angry, heartbroken, about past situations that I just now really feel.
I think im allergic to stress, I also believe thats why people love me. I dont have a million bucks, I dont stay in the mall and rack up things, I truly believe people adore me for the person I am. Honest, Down to earth, caring, Real. Positive. I run from Stress, run very far. Sometimes Depression creeps up on flesh, see thats all we are, blood runs through my veins, im easily to tear, the only thing that keeps me strong and should keep any flesh strong , is this heart thats inside our bodies. I try to guard it but times it gets shot down, i feel it. it stings a little, no really it stings a little. I crawl up and let all the tears out, that Moment I feel alone, realizing its me myself and I . Yes, many friends, great family. But we die alone, we walk alone everyday we walk out our homes. we drive alone, we do many things just by ourselves. ,but than I feel his spirit and he tells me "youre not alone" .. thats why my spiritual soul loves the Lord, I feel protected at the end of the day.
Raising my daughters, I sometimes think to myself "Wow I have two queens. both girls who expect so much from me." That keeps me alive, that keeps me going. makes my heart rather filled with so much love, these two people love me unconditionally, like Christ loves me. So while im sadden.. everything is everything. Ill be ok.
