I was at my favorite dining spots in Texas, with my dear friend. My phone vibrates it was my sidekick ; my first cousin Jamaro. I answered "Hello?" .. I can't hear you, let me step outside. "Ok", he softly replied. I knew something was wrong. I walked outside away from the loud noise in the background. " Everything ok cousin?", he replied " I'm just giving up, I wanna keep driving , end it all right now. ", I replied " Wait, where are you? , are you driving ?" - "Yeah" he said calmly.
Jamaro was in Los Angeles, California , I stayed on the phone doing my best comforting him, that was the summer of 2017. We spoke a few weeks after that, usually we spoke every other day. Our conversation ended in a disagreement , which was rare, we never argued. that would be the last time we would ever speak
October 2017 , I loss one of the most closest person in my life. Not from harming himself, but due to medical reasons - I had no details about previously.. My grandfather found him in the guest room . Jamaro, had decided to move back to Chicago ; after years of residing in Los Angeles. We would talk hours about him moving; and he finally agreed. I knew he had deep wounds, scars, and a heart full of brokenness. We both depended on each other, for guidance and encouragement . He was my shoulder to cry on, and I was his. His death brought months of deep thought, reflection and sadness. My entire family and his close friends grieved our huge loss. I learned many things that focuses on mourning. I hope this can help someone who mourns or is in deep depression :
1.) Prayer is powerful . The comfort of God can heal you from any pain you might feel
2. It takes time to mourn. Mourning, is a process. Everyone mourns differently, some people mourn for years. I advise to remember the good times, so you can get back to reality of life and your future.
Jamaro passed away expecting to wake back up the next morning. However he suffered his entire life from depression. A topic the black community fails to acknowledge , black men and mental illness. He moved to California from Detroit to follow his dreams . He fought a good fight. We all are fighting something In life. It could be addictions, finances, fear . Not one of us are perfect. When someone passes away, it could be a shock and unexpected death. I have come to the conclusion. Live your best life now ,work on your inner struggles, be kind to others. Be spiritually grounded, this will help us live a peaceful life.
I miss him .I wish our last conversation wasn't a disagreement. Who would of thought?.
Tell your loved ones you love them.
Peace and light
MB
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