Thursday, March 24, 2011

Everything is Everything

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I guess..  people .. pretty  much would  expect a smile from me most of the time..when they see me.  great instant communication, always in a "chippery" mood. the moment silence revolves miya, there is a problem. something must be wrong. baffles me, im only human. Created only to cry, be depressed at times, sad at times, just like the next human being.

At this moment Im mute, only expressive through writing. sending calls to voicemail, listening to erykah, lauryn, and kanye. Overwhelmed with recent events, tearful , a little confused, nervous, a tad angry, heartbroken, about past situations that I just now really feel. 

I think im allergic to stress, I also believe thats why people love me. I dont have a million bucks, I dont stay in the mall and rack up things, I truly believe people adore me for the person I am. Honest, Down to earth, caring, Real. Positive. I run from Stress, run very far. Sometimes Depression creeps up on flesh, see thats all we are, blood runs through my veins, im easily to tear, the only thing that keeps me strong and should keep any flesh strong , is this heart thats inside our bodies. I try to guard it but times it gets shot down, i feel it. it stings a little, no really it stings a little. I crawl up and let all the tears out, that Moment I feel alone, realizing its me myself and I . Yes, many friends, great family. But we die alone, we walk alone everyday we walk out our homes. we drive alone, we do many things just by ourselves.  ,but than I feel his spirit and he tells me "youre not alone" .. thats why my spiritual soul loves the Lord, I feel protected at the end of the day.

Raising my daughters, I sometimes think to myself "Wow  I have two queens. both girls who expect so much from me." That keeps me alive, that keeps me going. makes my heart rather filled with so much love, these two people love me unconditionally, like Christ loves me. So while im sadden.. everything is everything. Ill be ok.

peace and love

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